Reflective Listening

Inspired by Rev. Ken's message on 9.19.10 (Wellsprings Unitarian Universalist Congregation http://www.wellspringsuu.org/index-10.html) I began to think about how listening relates to tolerance. I'm finding that I believe there is a direct correlation between the two.

Much of what drives intolerant actions is either misunderstanding or lack of knowledge. Let's think about this for a moment... When people are intolerant of another race it is often because they look at a person from that race and make observations that they may not understand. From this information, the person either draws a conclusion or sees something that allows them to reinforce a conclusion they already had. This same process occurs when people look at other religions or when they look at anything else that is different from them.

Difference is a beautiful thing, yet many people are afraid of these differences. Can you imagine what our world would be like without difference? All people look alike. Everyone holds the same beliefs. To me this goes beyond boring. One of the best spices of life, in my opinion, is the fact that we have so much diversity in this world.

So, how do we go about learning about others and celebrating the diversity of this world? In my opinion, listening is a great place to start. When we listen, however, we need to do so with an open mind and an open heart. If we go into a conversation saying we will listen but bring with us preformed opinions we are going in with a closed mind and closed heart. As we listen that is where our attention needs to be. If we listen and simultaneously are thinking about our answer we are not truly allowing the person to express what they really need to say.

I can think of many situations where an individual would want someone else to listen to them. We all find ourselves in these situations yet so often when we are in the position of listener we do everything except truly listening. My challenge to you today is to be open to what others are trying to communicate with you. Having that openness will decrease misunderstanding and in many cases make your life easier and enhance your relationship with the person you are listening to. In addition, people like being listened to and when you listen to another person it makes it more likely that when you need to speak and want someone to listen; the person you opened your heart and mind to is more likely to open their heart and mind to you. Communication is, after all a two way street.

I'm opening my heart and mind to you in sharing this...I welcome your comments and opinions.

Peace,

Dawn